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Boundaries, the Cure for Codependency

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bok2nbRPWP8&w=560&h=315]

hello there welcome welcome this is Michael Mirdad sharing spiritual insights for a Friday evening Today we're going to talk about the truth about boundaries and codependence, or another way to look at it is boundaries as a cure for codependence

So let's look at this as as clearly, as concisely as possible There's still so much confusion about this And I love sharing in a way that can kind of cut through this stuff, and let's get to it So let's talk about what seems to be a problem first You know, there are people who say they deal with alcoholism

Other people, drug addiction, other people this disease of addiction and that one and so on and so on What human beings don't seem to realize is the most rampant disease on the planet is actually codependence It is the the greatest addiction – let's put it that way – the number one addiction Here's why Not everybody has an addiction of alcoholism

Not everybody has medical, you know, medicine addiction, legal drugs Not everyone has illegal drug addictions But definitely – not everybody has a food addiction – but most everybody has the addiction called codependence And even though all addictions really have the same Genesis or digression, codependence is the most rampant and it's because it has the same definition as all the other addictions, which is this And notice the similarity of spiritual teachings throughout the world from various teachers Notice how teachings connect here

Human beings believe that they're separate from God and from each other and this creates a sense of emptiness inside That emptiness is going to need to be dealt with in some way Our emptiness becomes either anxiousness or depression We feel this emptiness We feel off

We feel something, and then we start to feel anxious or depressed If we feel anxious, we're going to need to be sedated If we need, you know, if we start to feel depressed, we need to fill stimulated So everybody's looking for some form of that The problem is we feel empty, we reach out for something to fill the emptiness, nothing fills the emptiness, so we go and try it again

That's addiction As soon as you try to fix something using a synthetic, not just synthetic, chemically synthetic, meaning outside of ourselves, means you're now in a cycle You're in a pattern and it's endless, because one needs to feed the other As soon as I feel empty and I try something and it doesn't fill me, oh my God I'm desperate

I'm even more empty and more desperate I need it I need even more of it And there you go off into addictions But not all of us choose drugs or alcohol or food or whatever, but what we tend to not realize is our relationships are absolutely riddled with and rampant, filled with this same problem, this emptiness, and what it's called is codependence

Codependence in the sense translated to mean where I have become dependent I'm drugged, dependent I'm alcohol dependent I'm food dependent I'm people dependent

And again more people are people dependent than any other addiction What does it mean to be people dependent? It means I have forgotten Who I am I feel an emptiness inside and I really would appreciate it if you, anyone, anything, outside of me, not just people, anything outside of me, would make me feel different I feel down, pick me up I feel up, take me down a bit, or as relationships go ,you make me feel so wonderful or you are the blame for me not feeling wonderful

See that's all codependent cuz it's not interdependent It's not responsible here, it's reactive to things on the outside So think of it that way Codeendence is like that we think we're empty and then we start reacting to and dependent upon people If people don't like us it's depressing

People are upset with us, that's anxiety, you know, creating So we all become very neurotic We all become very reactive and neurotic We have to react We have to fill this void somehow

We become hyper anxious and trying to fix everything because it's off The problem is, we keep thinking everyone outside or everything outside is what's making us feel off Responsibility takes it the other direction So we're feeling off We're feeling disconnected from each other, from love, from God

We're feeling disconnected from answers, solutions, healings What where am I going to get this and we you know in a way science is right that sometimes science says or sometimes psychiatry says you know in a way religion is almost like a form of an spiritual or mental aspirin to deal with pain and then they scoff and say it's all a joke it's all false and they think it's there's nothing to it because they are missing something – they're missing God and the religions are missing God all too often even though they talk about God they don't know how to often they don't know how to create the solution which is to be filled with the presence of God and as I'm filled with the presence of God I start to be filled with the presence of me myself I'm here I'm awake and anything that happens I'm aware that it's my doing it's a reflection of my experience inside and that's when we start to wake up and show up again we become responsible so there's another way to look at this is and it's very important to understand there are only three relationships you can have and if you're a student a minor if you watched me before on these various topics you'll you'll already know what I'm going to say but there were only three relationships you can have one is with God one is with yourself and one is with others which includes anything outer other outer from yourself people your car your house even objects like that so we have relationships with God itself and others how you doing with those well I believe in God and I really like people but I just really have low self-esteem that's one relationship being off I love God and I really think I'm a pretty decent people but you know a person but other people are messed up that's an incomplete connection oh I love other people I even like myself but I don't believe in God that's another relationship that's disconnected see the Sufi say you have to have all three intact here's the extra piece not only intact but in the proper order of priority the connection with spirit comes first that does not mean you're supposed to perfect your relationship with God before you start working on your relationship with yourself and then you perfect that before others it just means what is the priority what is the most important of the three we're always working on all three to one degree or another and believe it or not once again let me go back and say my failure with any one of these or more of these will become something where I start to fill empty again afraid and empty and then usually blame it on something outside and that creates another codependent loop that we end up into and it's a karmic loop it's a karmic loop because as soon as I throw out a loop of current you know of codependents like I'm happy except now you've ruined my day or you've ruined my life or you've done this to me or that to me it throws out this loop that will come back to me for example I'm not saying people are not sometimes selfish and hurtful all too often they are because they're disconnected and they're thinking they're going to gain something by taking something from us and it'll give them something but it doesn't work so guess what they're codependent now because they're in an addictive cycle of I tried to take from others like you as a child or you as a man or you as a woman or you as an employer whatever I tried to take from you and dang if it didn't work it I still don't feel full enough I need to take more and now were there in an addictive cycle of taking but we're all then if we react or get involved we're now in that and they put out that codependent cycle again when we jump in and react to it we're then part – so these codependent cycles become wheels within wheels they start to mesh in the gears grind and work together this person moves this way and they can cause us to move because they say snap they say go they say react and they don't literally say it but they do something that causes us a reaction and we're only buying into it because we forgot our Center so you know God you can remember this all the way back to school kids teasing other kids you know all too often that hurt when we did it it wasn't right and when they did it to us it hurts but the truth is if we really knew who we were it would have never bothered us it's the truth it would have never bothered that bothered us that's why we're gonna talk about boundaries but we have to understand codependence and we have to enter understand what boundaries really are that's why I'm saying this is the truth about codependence and boundaries or it's a perspective of boundaries which are the solution to codependence so people ask all the time I've done video sets I have you see some of the stuff I've done behind me there are video sets some of which are on codependence boundaries some of them some of these are free online check them out some of them are on DVDs check them out but I've written some books as well down here you see behind me here it should be about there I'm kind of guessing this is the relationship book this would be the relay I wrote a book creating fulfilling relationships what's the subtitle turning cellmates into soul mates imprisoned cellmates into soul mates get it back to love away from the the confinement imprisonment karmic relationships because our relationships take generally two forms karmic relationships and gifting relationships co-dependent relationships will keep creating karmic relationships karmic meaning what oh here we go again here's someone again abusing taking advantage not seeing me not hearing me etc and then there's gifting relationships which are reflecting to us the progress we made in learning how to trim back the co-dependent relationships and nurture healthy boundaries when we do that the universe says my look who woke up and mature today it seems to me that your consciousness has now risen we might as well bring you relationships that reflect your new level of consciousness those are called gifting relationships their gifts and their earned they're not they don't just show up randomly God even though I've done no personal work that a lot of people do this it's just nutty God I have done no personal work whatsoever but I'm gonna get married again hope it works out and they expect it to work out if you're no different from your last 15 marriages how's it gonna be different on your 16th marriage it's so silly it's just nutty why would you expect something different if you're not different I would rather be able to say I feel significantly different before I go into another relationship significantly I feel like I understand codependence and it's not the cycles I run in all the time and it's not the machinery and mechanism I think with and react to all the time I feel healthier clearer better relationship with God self and willing to share that with others and experience gifting relationships because I feel better healthier boundaries moving this direction fantastic and this can be done but it doesn't happen just because you hope it does it it can only happen by us working at ourselves to become better people to grow and become better healthier people and that is a good thing to become better healthier people if we can go all but I don't want to do that can I just not get somebody nice that's just showing the strength of the addiction I don't want to feel better I don't want to go to the gym and I don't want to eat differently I just want to take some medication or a drug to make me feel better there are people that do drugs to feel more spiritual God My Mind's really expansive when I'm killing brain cells with this particular drug you know that's kind of ridiculous people don't realize it's worth it to do the actual authentic personal transformation instead of quick fixes so all that said the codependence is something we get into it's a mirror of karmic imprisoned relationships and what we're looking for is freedom soulmates not a one and only exclusive soulmate that's another misnomer and we'll talk about that maybe some other time let's talk about soul mates and cell mates or soul mates and twin souls and the version of soul mates versus cell mates and twin souls versus this and that we'll talk about that another time but codependence guys this is so beautiful to really understand codependent you can watch hours and hours of videos and tapes and this and that and go to workshops and lectures and it'll get you nowhere if you don't really understand the full picture if all we do is say you're codependent and your parents taught you to be codependent and you need to break that cycle you can only heal so much with that information even though you can do a weekend workshop on that topic that I just described it's your parents fault you can still only heal so much the truth is if you do not understand that it's a spiritual relationship it's a spiritual thing it's a personal thing and it's a relationship thing with others if you don't understand the holistic nosov this whole program this whole topic then you're not going to heal completely so what I'm missing is not if I only had someone to hold me sometimes if I only had someone to keep me warm at night so you're all you're describing is if I only had more money if I only had a pot of gold and someone to keep me warm and if only and if only if only is an affirmation of the ego it affirms I do not have I need and if only I had I would feel differently it's a lie I do have but I forgot where do I have I wonder first foremost it all comes from the source god I have forgotten Who I am father mother God please remind me show me my value because I forgotten show me my love ability because I forgotten get back in touch with this thing and let it fill you with your value let it fill you with peace that you thought things could give you let it fill you with value that you thought something else would give you and usually don't give you the world loves dangling a carrot saying come on come on you know jump here we go try again try again and we keep doing it when we realize oh my god spirits here I'm I'm as close to God as my own skin essentially it's a metaphor the song Hey Jude the movement you need is on your shoulder remember that line the movement you need is on your shoulder you know and what he meant by that is everything you need is as close as your own shoulder the very movement you know the thing the change you need the anything you need is as close as your own being God is right here and I need to nurture a relationship with it how prayer and meditation primarily we'll keep it simple commune with God in one word in two words prayer and meditation got it and I'll be doing that on a regular basis now not once and then never it's this is my life now my being any of us right next relationship me how do I have a better relationship with myself first of all I need to take a regular practice not an obsessive practice but a regular practice of self healing in one word it's called becoming responsible in two words self healing on a consistent basis in my relationship with self self healing and learning to set healthier boundaries that in one word those two things self healing and boundaries are in one word responsibility so check this out if you really want to be a healthy whole person learn to have communion with God prayer meditation responsibility with self self healing and healthy boundaries and connection with others through healthy communication and practicing healthy connection in the form of intimacy so healthy communication and healthy intimacy we're not talking sex it can include that but we're talking connection of affection eye contact listening to one another healthy communication intimacy on a level of I'm here with you whether you're my child I'm here with you how are you honey or whether you're my partner hi sweetheart how are you I'm here with you it's connecting with things even your own animals instead of just hey Rover how are you it's it's a being hi honey how are you how are you dog you know whatever animal it happens to be connection communion responsibility connection that's the Holy Trinity of relationships the metal one boundaries helps us in dealing with code dependence that we seem to have with others most often with others it's acted out it really originates in our own belief we're missing stuff inside connection right connection and responsibility those are all screwed up they're all in shambles so now I need Co dependence with people instead of connection so start asking yourself am i connected or codependent well if you think you're connected and you don't have these you're lying to yourself you cannot truly have healthy connection you can have a minor version of it you can have a synthetic version of it you can't have a real version of connection with others if you don't have communion and responsibility because everything is a progression like this the creation process starts in the heavens and comes to the earth and so do healthy relationships the creation of healthy relationships and as we're going in the last portion of this boundaries are part of our relationship with ourselves and it's it's acted out towards others it's worked towards others and with others but it's it's really something we birth within ourselves and when I say that I want to clarify technically your relationship with yourself is rooted ultimately in your connection with God when you know to love and rely upon God as our guide that naturally connects to having more trust in ourselves because we know we're safe we know we're guided we no we're in touch with the highest of the high so we start to have better self-esteem because we know we just made the greatest choice we could ever make on earth which is to recognize our healthy dependence not codependents healthy dependence upon God like like a child saying father mother God show me guide me it's fantastic the unhealthy codependents has made us think that that concept of vulnerability and surrender to spirit is somehow weak and unhealthy but that's because it wants us going another direction without God anyway in this centre we're learning to have a healthy relationship with ourselves but I cannot learn to set healthy boundaries towards others or have them well rooted in me without having a certain amount of connection with God love oneness a sense of connection and Trust and so on so with God and so here's how this works now looking at it kind of just in a fluid fluid kind of fashion here's the flow out here in this world I seem to exist now let me let me do something here you have this three God self and others now watch technically if you turn this way notice how God is not seen any more but it's deep inside so God's still there but it's deep inside of me where's where am i I'm here too just not that visible what I typically see when I look in my world is others everything outer and other people don't know usually or remember how to learn how to turn within and find these other relationships to learn to love yourself so much that you you're not afraid or intimidated to look at yourself there's a belief it's true belief that people are afraid of their own shadow remember that line what are you afraid of your own shadow yeah not that just the creature under the bed it's the ones in my head people are afraid of their low self-worth that's the key right there if we knew who we were we wouldn't be afraid of any least of all looking within we think that we are somehow inherently flawed we think we're somehow messed up we just we've lost love for ourselves because we seem to have left Kansas and you know we're Dorothy on The Wizard of Oz we can't we're not in Kansas anymore what kind of fool are we for we've hurt NTM and we've hurt our uncles and so on back home we look at all we've done we've devastated the lives of these people because of our selfish hurtful behavior we didn't when we really look within we're gonna realize if ever I've done anything other than love it would have been because I was afraid and I no longer need to be afraid so I can make amends and apologize for any and all things and I have no problem I meaning any of us I learned to not have an issue with that to be able to say wow if that seemed hurtful it certainly wasn't in my mind but I apologize anyway or the times when we did intend to be hurtful that's not very cool is it so we say I get it but no matter who and how vicious we have been who we've been or how vicious the truth is we never would have acted that way if we truly knew who we were spiritually which means what's the solution punishing that person doesn't cure them you just wait till they come back in another lifetime and do what when they do it again to someone else or have it done to them karmically do you think that cures them it actually doesn't then what's the cure well it's so simple you could ask a five-year-old and they could probably figure this out if the problem is that people do not know who they are what's the solution remembering okay then let's just hope that everybody remembers or we can start learning to remember for them when I forgive people I again meaning any of us when I forgive people I'm either gonna do it from a fine I forgive you which not is not heartfelt and it's not real nor is it effective or I forgive people like this this person forgot who they were and therefore they did what they did one thing I can do right now is say to them in my mind not necessarily in person but in my mind at least you've done this because you forgot who you are and what I'm gonna do for you as a favor I'm going to release you to find who you are you are not necessarily the hurtful person the hurtful person is not healthy and I'm not interested in knowing you were participating in this but the real you I affirm that there is a real you somewhere and I release you to find that and that's quite a beautiful gesture because what its meaning is beyond what you've said and done the person the external I'm affirming that inside there's a light that you have forgotten and clearly it's likely that it's a light that I've not seen in you especially if your behavior was was hurtful so there's that piece now again back to the final piece how boundaries play in it looks just like this again codependence is rampant it's it's coming from our own self-esteem or self-worth issues and so people prey upon that and then we play back codependence is not just mean people you know some people say oh I have a girlfriend and she really lets people take advantage she's so codependent codependent is not just for victims it's for both both people the victimizers and the victims are codependent one has low self-worth and they let people use them they're codependent the other has low self-worth and so they trompe trample on people to try to make up for their low self-worth they're codependent people and that beautiful all of this has been made far more complicated than it is if you can summarize it right it's not complicated yes it's multi-layered and all that but it's really quite simple remember what's the definition again oh there's codependence and this doctor said that and this you know author said that and stop people forgot who they are they start to feel hurt and desperate and empty inside so they bargain themselves away they either go and take from others or give to others one form or another to try to fill the void it does not work so they become even more desperate and do it more and more and with more people so it's a these that spreads because I'm not going to act it out with one person I'm gonna try two three five thousand and so on and after many lifetimes there's no limit to the number of people we've acted this out with so it's pretty strange isn't it that's the summary that's how it happens simple and it's coming from my unhealthy relations with God self and or others so the cure is get it right Communion man let's do it love you know God self and others commune with God be responsible with self and connect with others and boundaries play into it as follows boundaries are not a cure like we're thinking set hard boundaries and you'll no longer be a victim I already said codependence is not just a victim it's anyone and everyone involved in this whole cycle so boundaries are not there's the line there's the wall don't go past it now I'm safest no boundaries come from my feeling safe within God there's no others yet forget that I'm tuning into God feeling nice communion and safety in connection with God communion right and now I'm starting to feel a healthier self I'm working on self-healing which means instead of others others others I'm gonna work on my issues my low self-worth my fears my triggers my wounds and so on I'm starting to get healthier and because I'm getting healthier I'm now learning how to relate to others differently yes I learned to communicate with them and have better connection like intimacy with them affection and intimacy but one thing I have to know how to do is have healthy boundaries which is part two of the second relationship have healthy boundaries with others and here's how that works when others are mirroring back to you that you have an issue or they want something they try to take they trampling when they're mirroring back to you an unhealthy karmic scenario loop instead of a gifting one you learn to say instead of oh my god and reacting and getting hooked in they throw you the hook because we have some old karmic patterns that come back to bite us they throw you the hook it could be your your parents saying after all we've done for you how could you do that career instead of the one we wanted you to that's codependence but if you do the career they tell you to do you're codependent as well because you're bargaining your higher-self away or it could be your children oh man you're becoming all kind of spiritual nutcase why don't you just get grounded me and my friends we don't believe in that oh I feel terrible that my children feel that way you're a codependent they're a codependent again even when your boss others says or your people that work so we need you to put in triple time we need you to work till you die I can't oh well then we can give this job to somebody else who wants the money oh my gosh then I better go to work so I don't lose my job codependent codependent see boundaries would say wait wait hold on like there are no others for a moment let me talk to first of all let me look at what you're triggering inside of me wow that really triggers a lot of low self-worth I've been at this place this job for you know five hundred years or 37 years or whatever it is and you guys don't even care about me right I mean I've been here longer than anyone and you're willing to fire me that easily mom dad you're willing to turn your back because I won't become what you want me to be kids I'm too spiritual so you don't want you're ashamed of me really you could learn and say what does that bring up in me Wow fear fear of abandonment fear of betrayal good job now he'll work on it cry pray work on it scream Council 12-step program work on it and then after you've looked at some of the inside stuff go within and disappear into God and say God the weirdest thing just happened my kids are whomever did this it triggered this and now I'm with you and I want to know you I want to I want to feel your presence God I want to know what it's like that to feel this not flipped around where others the outer the connection the priority I go within and I connect with God God Here I am I worked on it and I'm very sad and I feel triggered a little that people could do this but but I've worked on it processed it a bit counseling it a bit learning about my vulnerabilities that's self-healing and now I surrender to you what I really want to feel instead of what I thought I wanted from them and what triggered in me what I really want to feel is you and your love bring me your love God and you that's like a meditating communing meditating communing you pray what you're looking for and then ask and we receive asks in prayer and receive in meditation people turn to ask and receive in to ask for pots of gold and get it it's it they just it's materialism again disguised as spirituality ask and receive is first spiritual last material but it can be material but if you don't get the spiritual thing you're asking for what's the point once again pot of gold is a relationship with others and if you don't have the other to the pot of gold is going to become you know a pot accessable kind of a pot so we go inside and we say Here I am God and we fill Wow I've taken my hurtful experience with others gone with and done some self healing and now I commune with God wow that's cool then I go the other way now I went in now I got to go the other way so now after I have this communion with God I say okay this was nice to feel God here but I need to feel God all the way through and have a holistic relationship so here goes my relationship with God and I say go with me God let's go back into me again when I went this way I went from triggered to self healing to God now I go God to boundaries to other's boundaries means now that I've taken a moment to heal I don't feel triggered so I'm not going to react I'm gonna respond in a minute I go and connect with God I bring gone back into the moment I say now given the moment that I'm in I'm about to have a conversation with so-and-so that said they're gonna dump me or whatever they're gonna do people that are gonna treat me this way or yell at me or whatever it is that that seems hurtful I'm I'm back and I need to ask myself what would be the healthiest way to communicate with them communication is an other relation see what's the healthiest way I'm gonna need to remember my boundaries I'm gonna need to know what works and doesn't work for me to see that's boundaries boundaries are not defenses I'm ready I got my boundaries up boundaries you don't you don't put up your boundaries they omit because your boundaries are just like the human aura they don't zip up around you like a bag they emanate from within you and they become a force field so picture this guys my aura emanates out to here and it creates kind of an etheric protective mesh like a force field if it cool keep certain energies from invading too much and all that but a healthy one keeps that out but a broken down aura allows too much weird stuff energies and all that to get into my systems unhealthy radiations vibrations entities or whatever you you know believe but boundaries are my psychological aura boundaries aren't literal literally a light that emanates like an aura it's a an air that emanates like my aura and it does emanate and when you have healthy boundaries people can tell there's this Center and they'll be like they'll be like how come we can't push your buttons anymore first they're gonna there's the good cop bad cop remember that routine in many movies you play the good cop you play the bad cop that's what the ego is gonna do you tell mom and dad you know really sad I tuned in for Mona and I took at him I took a minute parents were saying you know we're gonna disown you if you don't do our career or whatever scenario you you use I'm just using examples husbands wives partners whatever you say oh I have to go the bathroom you know use that as your excuse to go and Wow god I feel set but let me track this for a second let me breathe let me connect with God can take just a few minutes sometimes more if you want it but minutes at least and then you say okay I'm ready I feel connected to peace within me and now I'm recognizing here's my boundary I'm ready to go and communicate my boundaries gonna be I'm sorry you feel that way but I need to really be true to myself I walk out there and my vibe is gonna be true to myself that's my boundary true to myself true to myself and now all of my communications need to reflect my boundaries if I go out there and I say true to myself true to myself please don't be mad at me I'll give it up if you want me to you weren't true to yourself you just bit in to the codependence again true to myself true to myself mom dad listen really sorry that the conversation went south here just feels like everybody's getting kind of upset the least that's the way it feels to me and see when I'm speaking from boundaries I speak about myself I don't tell you what you're feeling I'm coming from here it feels to me like things are off a little bit if I'm hearing you correctly you're saying husband wife kids whomever you or don't like me anymore you don't let them to spiritual I'm to airy-fairy I'm too out there I shouldn't believe in fairies and angels I shouldn't believe in God I need to focus more work more I need to do this more and that more that just doesn't feel like it's me but I did hear you I'm not trying to change your mind I did hear you you're saying that this could cause you to disconnect from me disown me divorce me whatever I'm really really sad to hear that I need to go process that somewhere but I am clear this is what I'm gonna do to my own self be true this is where I'm going I hope you change your mind but if you don't just know that this is where I'm at now I'm not telling you guys where and when to say yes or no I'm saying that when your insides have told you something you might need to be true to that all I know is when you do know and you feel like you're going to be true I'm describing simply how to then proceed if you believe it to be true stay true to it and the boundary would be I'm sorry you feel that way but here's where I'm at see that's a boundary I'm not getting acquiesce to your pressure but I don't say those words I don't sound threatening or defensive I just I sound sincere and vulnerable you know it is a bummer I you know I am really you know really kind of sad that you feel this way but okay I hear you and I'm sorry that you feel that way I'm not sorry I'm making my choice sorry you feel that way sorry just in the sense that I'm sad to see that and that's really holding your ground and sticking to your boundaries boundaries are not a defense they're not walls remember they come from God not God literally saying do this and don't do that it comes from my connection my commune with God my communion tells me God simply says I love you be true to love got it God now I go into myself and go boundary time be true to love be true to self-worth got it now I step out to the relationship with others now I'm out here speaking to you others of any kind and my communications need to still be loving maintaining boundaries still communicating so I do so here's where I'm at tactful loving there's a whole you know laundry list a short laundry list I can share about the techniques for healthy communication and I've done that in talks and it's in the relationships book but keep that in mind it's just so beautiful so closing communion responsibility connection Wow it's perfect I got it I don't go to others to get anything I don't try to find things within myself without having any spiritual connection I don't try to be with myself and not be with others any one piece two pieces isn't complete all three pieces and each aspect of each of those three two parts two parts two parts or summarizes one one one and in a sense like the Trinity of God we call it the Trinity of relationship is also of healthy relationship is also one at some point we don't call it God self and others anymore there's a point where you can't call it anything else because it's the same it's just love now expressed in these three forms the old trifecta right just three three facets three expressions that's what the description in Hinduism and Catholicism and other places the Trinity of God is one it's it's the Trinity as one but they're like three aspects or expressions of the one God and that's what relationship is three expressions of really one thing real love but if I would have talked about love too much here or title this love it starts to sound like we're talking about romance we're not we're talking about the consciousness of perfect pure love when it really kicks in it doesn't just manifest as cute things in your life it manifests as holiness your wholeness and holiness oneness with God can total oneness and and real self shows up right and then my ability to connect with others to live in love others and it doesn't mean you move them all into your house you marry them all you mate with them all you parent them all it doesn't mean that it means the love is consistent as best I can on a daily basis but it looks different from one person to another that's the ticket I pray this all makes great sense thanks for tuning in and for listening sharing if this didn't make sense then move on you know try something else that might help you in a different way with your relations if it did make sense hallelujah you know praise God praise your true self and praise all life and all beings

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