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How to Change Your Life & Make It Stick

– Maya Angelou said, "If you don't like something, change it "If you can't change it, change your attitude

" We think about things that we wanna change all the time whether they are controllable or not so controllable If you know there's a few things in your life that are due for a change, I have a few ideas of things that you can do that, if done diligently, you just might find that you've created a life you love (upbeat music) Good morning, good life Welcome back to AmyTV where we come together to help you go after the life you want Happy New Year

I have not been sitting in this chair for a really long time I almost forgot how to do everything Are you super into a new year? If you know me at all, you know this is my favorite time of year I love riding the high and the moment and the optimism of a new year I love me a January 1st, but like a new decade? Hello, fresh start served on a silver platter

I'll take some I don't think it's about being an addict of resolutions I think that, that can be really tough for a lot of people It's more about the fact that, hey, if everyone's in the do better for ourselves mood at this time, let's use it to our greatest advantage And I want to help you do that as well

So, that's why I have a couple of ideas for you today Okay, onto the matter at hand How do you change your life and, even more importantly, how do you make it stick? Here are my ideas My first piece of advice, and this is a big one, probably the most important of the entire list, I like to give you value right away Be unapologetically you

This is hard A lot of us have a pretty good idea of who we are and either don't come to terms with it, don't share it with anyone else or hide from it and I don't think that's healthy It actually might seem healthy because it seems like we can avoid confrontation and avoid these moments where who we are might not always work with the situations that we're in or how somebody else feels about something, but knowing who you are and what you stand for is very important If you believe in it, if your beliefs are really, truly yours, that you would be able to share that with people outside of yourself and even if you don't share anything with any people, why waver when you believe something deeply? We can really get confused about what our beliefs are and who we are and what we think because we're looking at social media a lot, we're watching a lot of content on television There's something to know and an opinion to hear from everywhere and that can get annoying after a while if we're being honest

But I have found that the more I've scarified or compromised who I am because of my surroundings or the people around me, the more I paid for it later whether it was mindset-wise, just like me thinking about it to myself, or just lack of clarity to the people around me that this is just not who I am The unapologetic aspect of this is so important This is probably the most grand example of the advice stop apologizing You know how like you apologize when somebody else bumps into you or something happens where you're like, "I apologized, I don't know why I apologized, "but at least I apologized" I mean, at least I'm a good human, right? We do that about who we are all the time and that's not getting us anywhere

We're not building confidence We are actively tearing down the confidence in ourselves by being apologetic for who we are So, I know that this one is nothing something you can turn on, but if it is a muscle, I want you to work it as early as possible because the reality is you're going to face a lot less guilt if you can have a real conversation with yourself about, oh, you know, so and so didn't approve that I did this or so and so doesn't approve of my life like that But do I feel shame about it? Am I shameful about this? Because if I'm shameful about it, the guilt makes sense, but if you're guilty about something that you're genuinely proud of or feel good about it or just content with it, why would you let somebody affect you like that? So I think it's so important and this will completely change your life and make you look at other people's opinions very differently when you are unapologetically you It doesn't mean you have to be in your face like this is who I am

You don't even know me It's not about that That's okay if that's you I mean, like that's literally you, then do you, that's great It's about knowing for yourself that this is who you are and being unapologetic to yourself

The more you are not apologetic to yourself, the more you will present your best self to the rest of the world whether they completely agree with it or not and guess what? Even if you ae 100% in the right all the time, people aren't gonna approve of you They are gonna love picking a bone just for the sake of it So, do you unapologetically Number two, build small, daily habits Okay, I did not say big, I said small

They don't have to be huge They just have to be tiny, but they have to happen all the time They have to be habits Habits are only habits when they are actually habits Habits are habitual

Habits are not just things you started doing one day and therefore you did it once and now it's a habit No, it's a habit once it becomes a habit, but you have to start somewhere and if you try to start with something crazy, especially January 1st, right? Seven crazy things that will start my year There are big habits that are gonna change my life everyday Yeah, if you stick with 'em Do something small

Read one page a day Do a workout everyday, but your requirement starts low 15 minutes, 20 minutes everyday, but a very short amount of time to make your body and mind get into the habit Flossing I mean this just has been something I have never done in my whole life until two years ago

I just did not see the point of flossing I found one article that said it was unnecessary and latched onto that, but then I was like, "No Amy, time to be an adult, you need to floss" And so I only floss once a day It's not a big deal, I found the kind I like It's a small habit

Amy, you can't skip it, it's right there, gotta do it If you wanna write, you don't have to write a 500, 600 word blog post You don't have to write a novel Write a paragraph, just sit down and write a paragraph If you want to do something other than just journaling and you want it to be crafted writing, do something small

You will find that just by doing these little things everyday, a lot of other things around you change Not just the fact that you're building these little things that are going on slowly but surely, but you look at other things differently like, oh, I should go to bed a little early I think I would really like to write that paragraph with an extra half hour of time in the morning or you'll look at things like, huh, haven't been to the dentist in like three years I should set that appointment up If you do the little things, the big things take shape and the little things become big, big things over time

You might go to the dentist after three years and they're gonna go, "You brushed, you flossed, you're crushing it "You really should come here more often, "but you're doing pretty good, you have no cavities" The little things get big That was like the best example for a kindergartener if you would like to share that with them (laughing) Oh God, brushing your teeth

Even adults don't wanna do it, it's hilarious Number three and whoo, this is a big one Should this have been number two? I think it's number two in the rankings I don't know, they're all pretty important Number three, cut toxic people out

Toxic is such a mean word, right? So, it kind of makes you feel like, oh boy, I have to get aggressive to change my life Well, yes But also sometimes toxic people aren't actually as bad as that sounds, but just like your small habits build to be something big over time, somebody who does little things all the time that eat away at you just might become a hugely big problem So, a lot of times if we hear someone go, "Get the toxic people out" We're like oh yeah, I don't hang out with that guy anymore who drinks too much

That was a toxic guy No, it doesn't always have to be somebody who is irresponsible about stuff like that It could be someone who literally talks about nothing but gossip, literally nothing else If it's always about someone else and always some weird event or did you see that on Facebook or there's this thing, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip Even in small doses from the same individual could be a toxic individual

Cutting them out is hard, especially if this person is family With those situations cutting out is probably not as likely but you can take certain steps to prioritize your time and your brain space For everyone else, it's really simple Just cut them out, just cut them out If it's a coworker and you have to work closely to them, maybe don't go to lunch with them anymore

Maybe don't hang out with them by the water cooler anymore If it's a friend who's just genuinely not looking out for your best interest and just wants to talk to you to talk and you've been listening, stop listening Cut them out It sounds hard, it's very simple, it's both It is both and you can do it

Number four and this is something that maybe I feel passionately about as a business person and in all of the time that I have been working for myself as a business owner and just the similarly toxicity that can happen in the business world is that I advice you to stop looking for things that are free and start to see the value more It can be very frustrating if you want something or you want to make something happen that costs too much money It may cost too much money for your budget, but there may be an actual equated value to that dollar amount It's very frustrating for somebody who wants to work really hard for you, deliver something fabulous for you and not be on the same page with you with what that value is And being on the other side of that conversation, you wish that you could reach that point, but at the same time we can get a little bit resentful of the fact that people charge too much for things, but here's the reality

You want something, it is valued by you Therefore it has a value attached to it Being resentful of things that are too expensive or lots and lots of money but are still desired is a really great way to go down a very south path of making money the enemy, but money in general helps us to make things happen It helps us to move and shake and sell and buy and live and thrive and we have to learn how to manage it depending on what our lifestyle is appropriately So rather than thinking, oh, I bet I could get that guy to do that cheaper

I bet that guy will do it for free or I bet I could trade this Does not mean that it's not possible, but not everything should be looked at that way If you truly wanna get what you paid for, figure out how you're paying for it If it's free, you'll get what you're paying for If it's a trade, better do a good job

You're getting what you're paying for and if you agree that somebody is worth the time that they have on this earth and the value that they bring to the world, the creative or the product or whatever it is, how important is it to you? This is not a sermon on spending more money It's about controlling the controllable and being self aware in the fact that this is something that's important to you and therefore it is worth something When you act like it, you're much more likely to be someone that someone else is going to want to work with Number five, super fun healthy living hack It's actually the least fun thing in the world, but let's be honest here

Number five, healthy living pro tip Don't keep sweets in the house It's a lot easier to not overdo it on calories and sugar if you don't keep chocolate bars and things like that at home We, every once in a while, will get like a pint of ice cream to treat ourselves, but I know that my husband has a sweet tooth specifically after 11 pm

and so the worst thing that we could do is keep something like that in the house It's a trigger, he knows that about himself and therefore we treat ourselves to sweets, but we don't keep them readily available just like vegetables and other actual nutritious food in the house The less you keep the junk at home, the less likely it's a part of your diet It's a part of your attitude, it's a part of your living Number six, another don't

Don't sleep with your phone If you're new around here, this should be fun If you are not new around here, you know what I'm about to say I'm a firm believer that you should tuck your phone in it's own bed outside of your bedroom Okay, we don't even have a TV in our bedroom, so it's extremely lovely to not have any devices next to me when I go to sleep

I know that, that light is gonna keep me awake I don't care how interesting the stuff is that's on there Within the last half hour of my day, I do not look at my phone It is in my office, it is sleeping for the night It is resting for the big day we're gonna have tomorrow

It does not sleep next to me I do set my alarm so that I can hear it down the hall and I have to get out of bed to turn it off which is the only time I touch my phone for the first one to two hours of the day I also have a backup alarm just in case I sleep through it, one of those regular plastic alarm clocks that you can get on Amazon, it's sitting on my nightstand The more you find those very easy, easy times to take a break from your phone, the more you will find, you don't need it as much as you think you do and you actually might find it a lot more interesting in the hours that you do use it I talk a lot more about this in one of the chapters of my latest book, "Good Morning, Good Life"

I will link to that below so you can check it out Next, connect with your close connections often When we think about the world of people that we want to meet and know and people who we think will lift us up and those people who we think will take us further in the lives that we want, the businesses, the degrees, the jobs That's all fine and good, but if you can't even nurture the ones who are closet to you, it's not gonna be good I am not perfect at this

I am constantly working at this and I need a lot of self awareness in this sometimes because I get so much on my little hamster wheel of my business, but what I do know is that the best thing that you can do is know the people closet to you really well Figure out how they receive love Like, what does it mean to them to feel like they are loved? And show that on a regular basis Those are the people that are gonna be there for you when you're down, when things are not going well They are your support system and you have to do the work for them so that they will be there for you when you need them

Number eight, save and invest automatically I love automatically withdrawing money from my bank account into a savings account that is accruing with investments and interests I know it's really important to save and invest, so I like to do it automatically I don't like to think about it I don't like to move really big chunks of money

I like little bits that I don't see over a space of time One of my favorite apps for this is Acorns They can automatic withdraw a certain amount per week, per month or whatever the case may be and they can also do rounding up So, if you use your debit card or something like that to make a transaction, go buy a coffee It'll round up the way that you want it to so that, that extra change or a couple bucks is sent over to a savings account where it is also accruing interest and more money with investments

I will leave a link to that in the description below just because it's so simple and easy I don't see why anyone wouldn't do it, because it's one little thing you could do and you won't even notice that will totally change your financial life over time Number nine, remind yourself everyday that nobody cares This is just like the worst and best advice ever The worst because it sucks that it's true and the best because the sooner you will realize that you are completely in control of your life and nobody else can do it for you

We often find ourselves getting caught up with what everybody's thinking about us all the time and if you actually just sit down and go, "Okay, if I wasn't spending brain space on that, "if I wasn't so worried about that perception, "then I'd probably get a lot more stuff done" And you would be right and meanwhile the people's opinion who you are taking far too much into consideration, really they don't know what they're doing either They're overanalyzing your opinion about them or everyone else's opinion about them and they might be doing a lot less 'cause they're spending too much time on that same brain space That is a common thing to do That is a mediocre thing to do

We are uncommon, we are not mediocre So why are we worried so much about what people think? It's not something you can make go away completely, but we can and we will stop overweighing it when it comes to what we actually feel about ourselves So just wake up everyday and remind yourself nobody cares Literally nobody cares They care but they also just don't care

They literally don't care what you're doing So, until you do it, and you do whatever job you're gonna do with it, nobody cares So, you're either doing it or you're not doing it, it's on you It's your control My final piece of advice for you when it comes to changing your life and making it stick is to never stop going after the life you want

I'm not just trying to put my tagline in here even though I think it just fits so well in lots of sentences of advice I really mean never, never stop Finding your passion, finding the thing that is your purpose on this earth and in this human form is a lot of work It's a lot of journey, it's a lot of milestones It's a lot of good, it's a lot of bad

It's a lot of just you, it's on you And along the way when we try to remind ourselves nobody cares but we also take a lot into consideration when it comes to outside opinion and we keep going and we keep going and we think, oh, this is getting tiring, I don't like it anymore or it doesn't seem to be working or I look stupid by doing this and it doesn't seem to be working, so I'm gonna stop Usually we give up on the things too soon that might be the exact thing we should be doing and we are doing it for the wrong reasons and we're quitting for the wrong reasons If I have to credit anything to do with the fact that I still get to have this day-to-day life of really interesting events and super fun conversations with you, if I have to credit anything when it comes to my day-to-day life, being interesting every single day and the different types of conversations I get to have with you and the places that I get to go and the things I get to see and all the people I get to meet I have to credit that to the fact that even when things were hard, I just kept doing it because I really believed it was something I should be doing and if I just got through this tough point, there might be an easy point after that

I'm gonna encounter another tough point There might be another really great moment after that So, if you truly are going after the life you want, I promise you right now, staying power is a thing that is hard to come by I see so many walks of life who started doing something five years ago and they stopped doing it a year later They started something else and they stopped it

Don't be the quitter Stick it out, if you are really sure it's something you love If you're really sure it's gonna be hard but you want it, never stop going after the life you want It's going to be hard work either way The things you love, making YouTube videos

Fabulous, glamorous, look at me, lights Ah, ah, yay, makeup, hair It's hard, it gets really hard especially when people are drilling upstairs But the results for me, the conversations I have with you make it so worth it and all of the things that compliment it make it even better that every once in a while if a video doesn't do so well, it's okay, or if I didn't have my best shooting day, that's all right or if my hair didn't curl the way I wanted it to, I'll get through it But if you stop, you are the average person that we are so familiar with and what I know for sure is you are not here if you are hoping to pull off average for a lifetime, straight up

That ain't you Here is your question of the day What is the biggest thing, in your mind right now, what is the biggest change that you need to make in your life and what do you think the first baby step is to making that happen? Share that in the comments below To those of you who may have bought my new book, "Good Morning, Good Life", I love you (kissing) Thank you so, so much

We've gotten such amazing feedback about it It's just like absolutely incredible We've had some speed bumps along the way, but it's going really well now and so if you bought it, thank you If you haven't heard of it, I will link to it below, but if you're already a fan of the book, you might interested in a challenge that I unleashed onto the world the beginning of the year It's my 20-Day Good Morning, Good Life Morning Challenge for 2020

20 for 2020 It's just an email, really simple It's free, the link is below It's just a little prompt I'm gonna send to you every single morning for 20 days to motivate you a little bit more in your morning routine If you join shine squad on Patreon, there is actually an audio version

So, I will link to all of that below if you wanna check it out If you wanna change your life, wake up a little bit earlier, do something that matters to you Start your day on your terms, do it I kind of have an announcement to make I'm making this proclamation

In 2020 my team and I did a little bit of planning Actually a lot a bit of planning and one of the things that we decided we really wanted to present to you and go after in the life that we want in this world that we're working in is that we wanna make sure that we are continuing to affect as many people as possible The amount of positive feedback that we've gotten about the book and any of the videos that I've ever created or podcast or whatever, like it's so amazing to hear that it is helping That is what our mission is We want to be able to do that for you

So we basically just decided, well, let's make it bigger, better and help more people and do the best that we can to ask our audience to help us with that So with that, one of the goals that we set for ourselves this year is to hit one million YouTube subscribers This has nothing to do with YouTube subscriber land I actually think the number of subscribers on a channel has less to do with it's success these days, but I'm not gonna go on a vlog like a boss rant right now, okay? It has more to do with that number being something that you and I can both see and say, "Hey, we are moving the needle on this world, "and going after the life that we want "and helping other people do it as well" And I feel like if you recommend to your friends, to your family, to your social followers

Whatever the case may be, that they should check us out and many of you have done that a million times over The more that you point to something like subscribing to this channel, the more we can count those one million lives that we want to affect So, if you are not already subscribed to this channel, I am going to ask you now and probably ask you many times throughout the course of this year and if you have ever felt like I have done something for you, I have helped you in any capacity in the last 10 years of me being on YouTube, just make sure you're subscribed and ask your friends to do it too 'cause we are trying to get a million people to go after the life they want Why thank you, that's so nice of you Thank you, thank you, oh, thank you

That's all for today Thank you so much for tuning in I appreciate it, as always Make sure you subscribe for good vibes Kiss the ones you love and go after the life you want

Cheers (upbeat music) Hey, are you struggling to find time for the things you love? Feel like you're constantly on the go, but taking care of everyone else first? You are not alone and you deserve so much more Not only are you capable of taking on this challenge, you already have all the tools it takes to make it happen That resourcefulness is all you need to get activated by your new daily mantra Good morning, good life

It's my new book and it launches on Amazon on December 10th More details at goodmorninggoodlifecom Hello, we're looking for the potential of a clean audio situation where no construction sounds are coming from upstairs My purse feast, my purse feast? First, what, what? And super fun conversations with you

(laughs) Construction!

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