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If “Netflix And Chill” Were Honest


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– [Voiceover] Do you wanna bang tonight? (doorbell rings) – Oh hey, can you stay the fuck in your room? – I'm pretending like I wasn't frantically cleaning for the past 15 minutes – I tried on seven outfits before I decided on this one

– [both] Bullshit about wine – I've been wine tasting once Diverting this nervous energy by looking at a screen I'm putting the burden of choice on you – Oh I'm not accepting that responsibility

– Then that case I will offer up five or six very diverse choices to show my intelligence, sense of humor, the fact that I went to college – Comment about that really popular series everyone's talking about on the internet – Yeah – [both] But starting a series together is a lot of commitment – Who cares, we won't be watching the movie anyway

– Oh yes I just wanna make out a lot – do other stuff Alright getting ready to be nervous for 20 minutes about when to touch you – how we decide to sit now will determine a precedent about the rest of our relationship – Ignoring the fact that my arm's gonna be numb in 10 minutes

– Oh, too close to your butt Oh, too close to your vagina Too close– (gasps) – I'm not actually scared, I just wanted to touch your leg – Commenting on the movie to start an overlapping dialogue – I'm answering but I know what you're actually doing considering how close our faces are together

– I'm just kinda talking to talk – Angling my face hoping you're gonna take a hint – Hiding my boner with my elbow – Hoping you're gonna make a move – I still can't tell you like me

– Fuck it (romantic music) – I'm eating your cereal

Source: Youtube

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