Home / How to / "What If I FAIL?!" – How To Overcome & Let Go Of The Fear Of Failure (3 powerful tips)

"What If I FAIL?!" – How To Overcome & Let Go Of The Fear Of Failure (3 powerful tips)

– This is Julian, and I'm here in Oslo, Norway, and what I want to talk about in this video here is how to overcome the fear of failure, one of those fears that just hold so many people back It's like what if I fail? What if I make a mistake? That is the worst thing ever

That is like the world exploding I don't want to take any risks I don't want to jump at opportunities I don't want to follow my dreams I don't want to say hi to that person 'cause what if I fail? I cannot fail

Failure is death It isn't, okay What we're gonna do here is crack into three key mindset shifts that will free you from being run by this fear of failure for good (upbeat music) So the first mindset shift that I want you to make is to change the label that we're conditioned to place on failure Okay, we're conditioned to believe that failure is something bad, it's something to be avoided at all costs, and that it can be avoided

However, that's not true Okay, failure is natural It's part of the process, and it's necessary So change that label Failure does not equal bad

Failure equals natural and necessary You can't learn, as an example, how to stand up without falling over, right? Think about it Say you've never stood up before, and someone's telling you, you know what, you just gotta stand That's what success is all about, learning how to stand straight However, falling over is bad, and falling over in the process of learning how to stand can be avoided

Good luck, and you're stuck, right? Because you can't learn how to stand up without falling over You can only learn through trial and error You stand up, you're like, whoa, a little too much to the left, a little too much to the right That's the only way you can learn So that's the way we tend to live our lives here

We're trying to stand up or chase this goal or that goal, but we're afraid of falling over So we just remain stuck We just live our lives lying down Like, I just can't stand I don't want to go through the process 'cause I don't want to fall over

I'm just gonna live my life held back, stuck lying down Don't be one of the people who spends their life lying down Learn how to stand and embrace failure, embrace mistakes Okay, they are gonna happen, and guess what? They're valuable, there's valuable data in them It's not something to be avoided

You can learn from mistakes For example, you don't know what you want without also knowing what you don't want So the data in making a mistake, you can be like, whoa, I don't want that Now you know what you want Okay, so change the label

That is the first mindset shift that you must make Failure is a part of the process It's necessary and valuable, but of course, a little nuance here, still learn from the mistakes Don't be like, you know what, failure's awesome Let me just fail all the time

Use common sense as well, but that is the first mindset shift The second mindset shift when it comes to failure is to ask yourself what is failure really? Like what is this failure we're all so afraid of? This point where I failed, it's over, it's too late, does it really exist? My view is that it doesn't There's no such thing really as failure What is failure? It's just contrast, it adds to the journey You know if you're trying to learn a new skill and you fail, it's only a failure if you're stuck in a destination thinking where you just stop right after

Oh, I failed, it's over But if you keep going, what does it do? It just adds to the story It makes it much more epic, and then guess what, when you succeed, whatever even that is, like what is succeeding when you've completely made it? Another part of destination thinking, but let's just say you succeed, what will that failure then become? Part of the journey, it's part of your story You know what, I didn't always used to be like this Back in the day, I failed

Back in the day, I was shy, but look at me now It just adds to that awesome story More contrast, that's how I view it I look back at my journey I'm like, whoa Back then, look at me

Back then, look at that Back then, look at what I did, look at me now, and in the future I'll do the same You know what, I tried this thing It didn't work out, but then look at me Okay, failure is only failure if you just stop and give up right after

Otherwise, it's part of the story, and if you take on this mindset, you really cannot fail You can only live an epic story of ups and downs with massive contrast Okay, and once more, what does this come from? Destination thinking Thinking that there is an end point of success or failure as opposed to enjoying the process, enjoying the journey A famous quote, it's not about the destination

It's about the journey, that is true When you take on this mindset, failure simply does not exist And lastly, the third mindset shift is to detach your self worth from success or failure We tend to do this with our achievements We're like, I'm only as much as my achievements

That determines how good I am of a person, how much worth I have, and we go through our lives, our days, fluctuating in worth It's crazy, we do this with the way we look where some days you might wake up and look at yourself in the mirror and be like, man, I look really good, I look so good today Well, this is a great day, my worth just increased, and then you go through your day just feeling pretty jazzy Okay, some other days you might look at yourself and you're like, oh, I look a little puffier today I don't look as good, and what happens to your day? Your worth drops in your mind, and you go through your day kind of just holding back like, oh, I just don't like today

Why is it not a day where I look good? People do that with their haircuts, their clothes Oh, I got a new t-shirt I feel pretty jazzy, that's the new word jazzy Pretty jazzy with this shirt I wear the old shirts, oh, my worth drops, and we do this with success

I achieved this, I accomplished that goal My worth increases, and we just go up and down and up and down, and of course, we fear going down 'cause we become less of a person, or so we believe Okay, so the key here is detaching your self worth from your achievements, and the best way of explaining this is think of a video game, okay, where there's the game, and in that game there's a character, and that character is running around That character can accomplish different missions, different goals, can accumulate resources That character can level up

You start off at level one You can go to up like level 100, level 1,000 There's an infinite amount of levels, and that is the game Okay, now that character as that character levels up, that character's worth, you could say, does increase Well, the character has more skills, more resources, more abilities, so on and so forth

Okay, it's in a more experienced character That's the character I want to play I don't want to play the noob character However, if you shift perspectives away from the character's perspective to the player's perspective, okay, the person playing that character holding the little controller, that person's worth doesn't increase or decrease based on what the character is doing It's not like your character leveled up, I am plus one as well

I'm now level two, yes! That doesn't happen You're just enjoying the game, your self-worth intact, and that's what really allows you to enjoy the game If you were playing it as the character, it'd be very intense Okay, the same way most people live their lives I must succeed, I can't fail

I must succeed, I can't fail So what about shifting perspectives away from living your life from this first-person perspective being the character to this third-person perspective being the player? You can still accumulate different skills There's still stuff you can accomplish Okay, that might be a comeback like, well, success is accomplishing X amount of money You know what, you can still accomplish X amount of money, but guess what, does that affect who you are as a person? Does it affect your worth? No

So sever that link, okay? I do this in Transformation Mastery In Transformation Mastery Academy there's various meditative releases that allow you to sever that link, but that is an absolute must, okay? You're not here to prove your worth to God, to the universe, or nature or whatever, the creator to the all, to infinity That's not why you're here, and that's how we live our lives We accomplish all these successes, we're like, am I good enough now, God? Am I good enough of a person? We live our lives trying to be good enough, trying to increase our worth, as opposed to I have worth I am good enough, I'm here to live

I'm here to enjoy it, I'm here to play the game, not have it be this serious up and down of being a better person and a lesser person Screw that, sever the link Now one bonus step you can do on top of these three mindset shifts when it comes to this fear of failure is tracing it back to a traumatic experience Okay, now let me explain Let's just say you're a child, and you might have tried to do something right, and you failed, okay, you failed you failed miserably, and let's just say that your parents yelled at you

They're like, hey, that was bad, don't disappoint us, or they might have casually said it Hey, you know what, that was not good, don't do that Now since you're a child, your perception of the events is very different than how you perceive it now A parent's telling you don't do that trying to help you, you might interpret that is them yelling saying that they don't love you Don't do that, I don't love you right now because I'm saying don't do that

That's who you might experience it, and because you depend on them to survive, if they don't love you, they could abandon you, and if they abandon, you you die So that there, although from our adult perspective seems like nothing, from a child's perspective can be very overwhelming and very traumatic It's like, wow, right now I'm not loved I'm not being loved, I could be abandoned I could die, oh my god, oh my god

I can never fail, failure equals I could die, and what happens then, you're gonna live your life based on that trauma that failure equals I die, and here you are in your adult life and what happens? There's a chance of failing, and you get triggered That same survival instinct that kicked in when you were a child, kicks in now during your adult life Okay, and the key there is to trace it back to that original traumatic experience, process it, and free yourself from being triggered here as an adult Okay, that is the fourth bonus step This one really gets to the cause, and if you want to go deeper and learn exactly how to trace it back to a traumatic experience and how to process it, click the link below this video

I'd love for you to be a part of my premium program, Transformation Mastery Academy We go extremely in-depth on this, and I'll show you exactly how Okay, so apply these three mindset shifts If you wanna go deep, click the link here below, and as always, until next time We live in an uncertain world

Just turn on the news, what do you see? (epic music) Chaos, terror, suffering Things are changing so fast that your head is spinning You know the feeling, being pulled in different directions by your friends, your family, mainstream media, not knowing what to do or who to believe Did you ever stop and ask yourself how did your life get this way? – I feel so much shame when it comes to being me, and now I don't feel that shame anymore – I had no way of being able to deal with that pain, and for the first time in my life, I finally feel an inner stillness and peace in myself

– I didn't even know what was happening Like my hands were shaking, and it was just like me being my authentic self – Most of us live lives of escapism Anything to cope with this feeling beating us up inside Distracting ourselves with dumb things on TV

Numbing ourselves with junk food, alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs Is this the way life was meant to be? Or is there perhaps another way? – It's been the first time in over ten years since my dad died that I actually felt like I did before – I decided to take a stance for good, for love, for authenticity, and I created a movement of people dedicated to raising the vibe, a movement dedicated to doing something about this, and it's called Transformation Mastery Academy – That was amazing, just being able to finally find that root reason – I really want to thank each and every one of you, and out the bottom of my heart, thank you, guys

– Now I'm not some fake guru promising you overnight results What I promise you here is a tribe of people to help support you and guide you along this journey In Transformation Mastery Academy, you'll no longer be alone You'll no longer feel lost You will be given the roadmap to true permanent personal transformation

Enough with this fake life of quiet desperation Step into your truth and join the movement

Source: Youtube

About umoh

Check Also

How to make your own face mask | KVUE